There's an alligator in the house A toothy grin appears beneath my chair A scaly tail goes sliding out of sight Now it's gone - was it ever there? Something odd has moved into the house Reptilian tracks lead underneath our bed And all the cats are tasty, fat, and scared Though I doubt we've lost any yet CHORUS So what's the big deal? Doesn't everyone Have an alligator somewhere, somehow? And maybe this one has always been here, But I never noticed it till now. There's an alligator in the house Just caught her napping in the living room She was dozing on the velvet couch And the cats were sleeping there too There's an alligator in the house No one seems to mind except for me Well, at least she doesn't eat the cats I suspect she'd rather eat me There's an alligator in the pit she is dancing wildly with the snakes to win them over to her cause she will do whatever it takes They think I don't see their little smiles as they plan a reptilian overthrow but I hear them talking in my dreams they will not be sad to see me go! CHORUS I've begun to worry 'bout my toes The alligator seems to think they're nice I've counted all of them a hundred times But I never got the same answer twice There's an alligator in my bed she is not a master of disguise just a pillow waiting for my head soft and sweet and hungrily she lies There's an alligator in the house Today she joined me for a spot of tea She helped herself to raspberries and cream And she didn't leave any for me Well I thought that I had seen it all but this alligator proved me wrong like a lady as she drank her tea she sang to me this little song: ALLIGATOR'S CHORUS: "so what's the big deal, doesn't everyone have an alligator somewhere somehow? I know you'd miss me if I went away though you never noticed until now!" CHORUS

I Am A Creature Of The Wood, Forsaken In My Solitude My Song Is Pleasure And Is Pain, My Song Can Drive A Man Insane So Come With Me, My Pipes I'll Play, And We Will Dance 'Till Break Of Day I Shall Be Thy Lover I've Been Alive Since Time Began, Not Beast, Not God, And Yet Not Man I Am The Music And The Dance, I Am The Piper Who Enchants So Loose All Ties To Mortal Kind, My Pipes Shall Play Within Thy Mind I Shall Be Thy Lover Come Unto Me My Beauteous Maid, I'll Lead Thee To The Hidden Glade Thou Shalt Be Happy And Be Free, When I Play, Thou Wilt Dance For Me We'll Feast On Fruit Fresh From The Vine, And I Will Sample The Fruit Of Thine I Shall Be Thy Lover Sweet Love I'll Make For Thee Alone, And Show Thee Sights Before Unknown I'll Be Thy Master And Thy Friend, For I'm The Gold At Rainbow's End I Am The Beast Within All Men, I Am The Rhyme Past Mortal Ken I Shall Be Thy Lover BRIDGE: I've Played My Pipes Before Man's Dawn, Seen Maidens Ripe, Turn Pale And Wan Taught Man The Art Of Song And Dance, Yet Had To Part From Mortal Clans I Must Return To Silent Dells, No Fire Burns, And Nature Dwells So Take Thy Rest Within The Shade, And As The Evening Hours Fade I'll Take Thee Deeper In The Glade, My Cloven Hooves Through Heather Wade I'll Teach Thee Things Man Has Forbade, Our Souls Entwined And Unafraid I Shall Be Thy Lover I Am A Creature Of The Wood, Forsaken In My Solitude My Song Is Pleasure And Is Pain, My Song Can Drive A Man Insane So Come With Me, My Pipes I'll Play, And We Will Dance 'Till Break Of Day I Shall Be Thy Lover

I am a daughter of the glade never tamed to mortal ken. goat feet and striking yellow gaze the sultry voice of the summer maze I am the beast beneath fair skin with but a song your love I'll win As you would a satyr when he roams, Beware the faun who hunts alone, a prowling spirit on her own all spice and fire to the bone! a thirsty chalice for thy blade! Come now, to the daughter of the glade! In Song and Storm I came to life By Hoof and Horn I came to be I need no pipes to cast my spell I am the tale no heroes tell! hie to the woods, boy, you'll be glad you stayed. Come now to the daughter of the glade! Satyr, when thy mortal lovers fade, I will take you, unafraid! and here's your perfect chance to try a lover bold and as sweet as I-- Dark and warm as winter wine! You've never tasted fruits as fine! I see you waste your golden song on mortal maidens, dusk to dawn Those virgin girls will ne'er be true come taste a love as wild as you! You'll meet your match when you meet my eyes! but I'll allow you your surprise. I am a daughter of the glade, and I will make no man a wife! By Hoof and Horn I came to be; in Song and Storm I came to life! Leave off thy chase! Thy prize is here! and she will love you without fear! I am a daughter of the glade never tamed to mortal ken. goat feet and striking yellow gaze the sultry voice of the summer maze I am the beast beneath fair skin My song is done. Thy love I've won.

Well I'm not really bad, I'm just drawn that way and I didn't ask to look like a bandit Just a single mother, got to feed my babes And I've done pretty well, I've just got to hand it to me… Livin' on trash and berries and such and the folks in the big house, they put out so much food for their precious kitty cats that me and my babes, we could get chubby on that… From my sneaky bandit face to my hot bushy tail I'm tough mean and crafty Sharp of tooth and nail Don't mess with me Keep yer kitties outa sight Cuz I'm lurkin' by day And I rule the night There's no wrong or right in what I do - just protectin' my kids and findin' food Get out o’ the hen house if you can't take the heat Can I help it if your chickies are so tender n sweet? Well that's what you get for livin' out in the boonies -- Gotta deal with a bunch of us no good raccoons! I ain't got much but I do pretty well Got m brains an my looks an my sense of smell I'm just try'n'ta survive on a day to day I'm not bad I'm just drawn that way

you were the ink in my eyes black with blasphemy from the night before the sweet sacrifice that you offered was bitter dark chocolate, savored it down to my core where I smolder no wonder I am frozen today The carousel runs on, and I hum along Hum the morning away Go on and tango the Gorgon to bed, my dear best be prepared to get all that you bargained for and when the curtain comes down these decisions must be made On the day that the carnival heads out of town leaving no trace, just a music box melody running down would you caravan at my side, my love, will you ride? See how we smolder no wonder I am frozen today The carousel runs on and I sing along, dance the morning away, hey oh, don't trust the sideshow serpentina shadows run fierce when the curtain comes down but no fiercer than those you may find looking into these eyes Look into my eyes. Oh, you were the truth of my running mascara the moment my mask was no more I offered me up sweet and bitter, suspecting you'd courage to savor me down to my core where I smolder no wonder I am frozen today the midway is breaking down do I let this miracle stay, or do I cast it away No wonder I am freezing, bleeding today with the carnival I will leave town like the melody running down but darling for now let the carousel play running away They will all say don't trust the sideshow serpentina shadows grow long when the curtain comes down but no longer like those you may find gazing into these eyes Look into my eyes.

Sleep of the Earth of the land of Faerie Deep is the lore of Cnuic na Sidhe Hail be to they of the Forest Gentry Pale, dark spirits, help us free White is the dust of the state of dreaming Light is the mixture to make one still Dark is the powder of Death's redeeming Mark but that one pinch can kill Sleep Poison in your dreams Some will not awake Nothing's as it seems Iron bonds will break Hearts will be set free Wrongs will be made right Sleep and death will be Justice in the night Sleep will be Justice in the night Death will be Justice in the night

Hear the rain fallin' from the mizzen mast Feel the pain, knowin' that you cannot last It's the song of siren screamin' in your head (it's in your head boy) Not too long and lad, you're gonna end up dead! CHORUS: So drive it through the water A few feet more, you got her! Just ram into the rock And then feel it pitch and shock 'til your blood is pumping cold Laddie, then there's water Water's in the hold! Touch of bubbles on your salted skin (your salted skin, ah) No more troubles as you drift on in (drift on in, hey) Breath is leaving, you don't need that air (don't need that air, no) Death ain't grievin' and she just don't care! Hold her close, hold her fast Make this dark and wet night last Water's in the hold! Wrapped in ocean, you belong to she (you belong to me now) Trapped in motion now, you can't get free (don't you go nowhere) In her grips it seems you have to stay (stay right there, ah) Kiss her lips 'cause lad, it's best that way!

The ghost of a dryad haunts an old wooden schooner She clings to the mainmast like mist in the trees Mourning his death after so many years She weaves her grief into the breeze Singing Blow, you ocean wind, blow Blow this ship back to the forested shore For these foamy green hills are but saltwater desert And I yearn to see woodland once more And sometimes at full moon, the sailors can see her Her misty grey figure glides silently past But when the storms howl, you can hear her heart weeping And see her blue glow round the mast Crying Blow, you ocean storm, blow Blow this ship back to the forested shore For your wet whipping winds bring no life to my lost love And I yearn to see woodland once more Warm summer breezes remind Pitys’ daughter Of seasons and cent-u-ries spent merged with her pine When sap of his heartwood ran warm with her laughter Her voice in his branches entwined Whispering Grow, sweet conifer, grow Reach for the sun, leave the green earth behind For whatever happens, my tallest of princes I never shall leave my white pine. On the deck of the schooner, surrounded by ocean The towering mast stands, so lifeless yet strong And the ghost of the dryad, cool shade in his shadow Renews her promise alone Singing Blow, you summer breeze, blow You help me remember why I stay behind Though alone and adrift on this great leafless ocean I still cannot leave my white pine -- No, I never will leave my white pine.

refrain: I forbid ye maidens all who let fly your lovely hair to go down to Carterhaugh for young Tam Lin is there Janet tied her kirtle green above her knee and not below and she's gone to carterhaugh just as fast as she can go She's come to the roses growing wild she's pulled a single one when a wild young man appears and cries 'O, lady, let alone! 'How dare you pull my roses out, How dare you break my tree How dare you run in these green woods Without asking leave of me?' Says Janet fair 'this wood's my own My father gave it me And I can pluck myself a rose Without asking leave of thee.' Bold as brass, he takes her hand and color rises to her skin She looks the young man in the eye and knows him now for young Tam Lin. **refrain** Janet holds her petticoats well above her dirty knee and she's gone to her father's hall just as fast as she can hie. All the ladies of the court at their play turn red as rose except for Janet, fainting fast, green as growing grass she goes Out then speaks her father dear, doting, caring, meek and mild. 'Janet, darling daughter mine, I fear you go with child.' 'Father, if I be with child, be sure myself shall bear the blame. There's not a knight within your hall shall get the baby's name. Father, if I be with child, 'twill prove a wondrous birth for well I swear it's not the get of any mortal man on earth.' **refrain** Janet's tied her kirtle green When near nine months are gone And she's away to Carterhaugh, To speak with young Tam Lin. But young Tam Lin will not be found and Janet's in despair to the forest floor she falls and swift her lover catches her Janet asks 'Tam Lin, my love, why is it in these woods you hide?' 'The queen of faeries stole me hence, alas, when I was but a child. 'My lordly sire was a skillful man and hunting he loved well but I was prey for the faerie Queen when from my horse I fell. 'Ever since, in yon green hill, with the Queen I'm bound to dwell I'd never tire of living there for Faerie does me well 'But at the end of seven years, the queen doth pay a tithe to hell I am so fair and full of flesh, I fear 'twill be myself.' **refrain** Tonight's the night of Halloween, and the fairy court will ride; And she that would her true love win at Miles Cross must bide. 'But how shall I thee ken, Tam-lin? Or how shall I thee know? Amang a troupe of faerie knights, The like I never saw?' 'First let pass the horses black then let pass the brown Run ye to the milk white steed and pull that rider down. 'They will change me in your arms into a deadly adder but hold me fast and fear me not I am the baby's father 'They will change me in your arms into a bear or lion bold but hold me fast and fear me not I am the father of your child 'At last they'll change me in your arms into a naked knight. Then cast your mantle over me and keep me out of sight.' **refrain** Gloomy, gloomy, was the night, And eery was the way, As Janet in her mantle green To Miles Cross did hie. The heavens dressed in baleful black and all was silent as the grave, But Janet waited in the dark Her own true love to save. Betwixt the hour of twelve and one, the north wind blew and tore and rent she heard the elfin bridles ring upon the wind where e'er it went Janet stood, with mind unmoved, The gloomy heath upon, And louder, louder rang the bells, As the fairy court came riding on. And first rode by the night black steeds and then went by the brown; then up she ran to the charger pale and pulled her lover down. They changed him in her arms to all the beasts and flames and hateful things, but she did all that her lover bade and young Tam Lin she won. Up then spoke the Faery Queen An angry queen was she. 'Woe betide the wretch who's ta'en the best knight of Our company. 'Had I but known, Tam-Lin, she said What defeat this night I'd see I'd've stolen both thine eyes and changed thee fast into a tree. 'Had I but known, Tam-lin, she said before we left this night to roam, I'd've et thy heart of flesh and left thee with a heart of stone!' **refrain** Janet tied her kirtle green above her knee and not below and she's off to Carterhaugh as fast as love can go.

Our boy kitty Callan is overly male He howls and he struts and he calls Testosterone poisoning has turned off his brain So now he just thinks with his balls. Oh yow, ow, row-row-ow ow Hey baby, come here and I’ll jump you If it moves then I’ll screw it There’s just nothin’ to it If it don’t move, it’s easier still Poor Callan’s so desperate for someone to love That he doesn’t care much about gender As long as it’s feline, he gives it a try And implores them with words strong and tender: Oh yow, ow, ow-row-row ow Hey buddy, you mind if I jump you? If it moves then I’ll screw it There’s just nothin’ to it If it don’t move, it’s easier still Now Callan’s quit eating, his mind is on sex He’s singing love songs to the sofa Stuffed animals cringe when he enters the room And he calls to them over and over: Oh yow, ow, ow-row-row ow Hey Teddy, stay put and I’ll jump you If it moves then I’ll screw it There’s just nothin’ to it If it don’t move, it’s easier still When a girl comes to visit, he turns on the charm And he woos her with bravado and song Then his hormones kick in and he jumps on her neck Like a caveman he drags her along Oh yow, row, ow-ow-row row He sings with his mouth full of girl fur Hey babe, just you wait This is gonna be great Don’t blink or you’ll miss the big moment --